


The Pleasure Of The Damned

by Ourbooksuniverse



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
Genre: ACOTAR - Freeform, ACOWAR, Angst, Brotp, Feyrhycien - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Humor, Male Friendship, Multi, POV Azriel (ACoTaR), POV Cassian (ACoTaR), POV Lucien (ACoTaR), POV Rhysand (ACoTaR), Velaris, acomaf, feysand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-13 02:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourbooksuniverse/pseuds/Ourbooksuniverse
Summary: This is the story the Night Court and what happend to them the first 3 months after UTM.Chapter one: Cassian goes looking for Rhysand in the library in VelarisChapter two: Rhysand visits his mother's graveChapter tree: Lucien seeks help in the shadowsEach chapter can be read separately :)





	1. Looking For Rhysand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been two week since after UTM, and Rhysand has developed the habit of hiding from his friends and feelings in the library in Velaris. Everyone of the inner circle has gone in and tried to find Rhysand multiple times. Today it’s Cassian’s turn to go and find Rhys, but it’s not Rhys he finds on the lowest levels of the library.

Cassian hated the library, has hated the place since that THING tried to eat him 200 years ago. After that, every time he needed one of the books, he would either drag one of the priestesses with him - since the thing never attacked one of them - or go in heavily armed, torch in hand, which pissed the priestesses off, because one time he almost burned down a bookcase filled with priceless books.

Today, however, he couldn’t take one of priestesses with him. So standing in front of the library - armed with only his sword - he took a deep breath and entered the house of his worst nightmare.

~

“Hello Clotho.” Cassian said to the female standing in front of a large pile of books.

Clotho smiled and waved him over.

Cassian walked towards her, stopping at a respectful distance away. He knew the priestesses history, Mor had told him the basics and had warned him that Clotho didn’t like it if males came too close.  “Do you know where Rhys is hiding today?” he asked her, careful to not raise his voice, lest he frightened one of the other priestesses.

She raised her one of her brows, as to say ‘ _you know this place is a sanctuary for those who want to be left alone_ ’.  

“I know he wants to be alone when he’s down here, but I really need to talk to him. ” he told her.

Clotho tilting her head slightly. ‘ _I’m not telling you_ ’ she seemed to say.   

“You aren’t going to tell me where he is, are you?”

Clotho smiled at that.

“Fine, then I guess I’ll just go looking for him.” he sighed “ Just tell me you lovely females are keeping an eye on him and are making sure he is eating?”  

At that Clotho nodded and gave him a kind smile.

“Thank you Clotho.” Cassian said and smiled at her.

It was a relief knowing that the priestesses were keeping an eye on Rhys. They truly were some of the strongest and kindest females he knew. Still it would have been nice if Clotho had told him the general direction of Rhys’s hiding spot. But there would be no use in arguing, they were loyal to Rhysand and wouldn’t  betray his kindness by giving away the location of his save place.  

He wished he didn’t need to disturb Rhys while he was down here, he knew what this place meant to the priestesses and what it now meant to Rhys. But he needed to talk to him. He decided to start at the part of the library where the poetry books were kept. Rhysand loved poetry afterall, found comfort between the pages of the books.

~

He had been looking for Rhys for almost two hours now, and he had the sneaky suspicion that Rhys knew he was looking for him and had purposely moved to the lower levels of the library, where he knew Cassian feared to go.

Swearing colorfully, Cassian followed the path that would lead him to the lowest levels of the library. “Stupid Rhysand! Why does he need to hide in the library, hell why does he have to go hide in the creepy part of the library. Why can’t he go hide somewhere nice like the kitchens or a freaking field full of flowers!”

“I agree, a field full of flowers would be nicer than this library” whispered a voice in his ear.

Cassian knew that voice - a voice both young and old, hideous and beautiful - it belonged to the monster that had tried to eat him 200 years ago. All color drained from Cassian’s face and his whole body started shaking at the sound of the worst creature he had ever encountered.

“I would like some flowers in here.” the voice continued and Cassian felt something stroke the back of his hand. He had to get out of here, NOW!

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” the voice asked him curiously.

Cassian had no intention to talk to the monster. He was slowly trying to back away from the darkness that was now gathering in front of him.

“Aren't you going to keep me company? It’s been a while since our last encounter.” it said.

Cassian took a few more steps, desperately trying to get the hell away from the thing - that mercifully was still hiding in the dark - but it seemed that the creature had different plans for him. And as darkness swallowed him whole, Cassian let out a scream.

~

Darkness was all around him, suffocating him, he had spent enough time with Rhysand and Azriel to know that this was the kind darkness that frightens, the darkness that belonged to assassins. The only thing he could do was squeeze his eyes shut, try to get his breathing under control and get his sword free of its sheath.

Suddenly he felt something stroking his hair. “No, no, no” he sobbed. He didn’t know what the thing wanted from him, but judging from the bite marks he had from the last time, he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to walk away from it alive.  

His whole body shivered and Cassian muttered a prayer to the Mother, he had gotten away from this thing before he could do it again. So he took a deep breath, griped the hilt of his sword and as the thing said “You have very soft hair” swung his sword. A loud roar sounded all around him and the grip the monster had on him loosened. Spreading his wings Cassian took off flying as fast as he could.

On his way back up and away from the still roaring monster, he saw Rhys flying toward him. Before Rhys could even uther a word, Cassian had gripped the collar of Rhys’s tunic and dragged his brother up with him.

~

When they landed a few levels up, Cassian’s knees were shaking and he had trouble keeping upright. But at least his hair was no longer being stroked by that thing down there.  

“What the hell happened!” Rhys demanded, worry written all over his face.

But Cassian couldn’t answer him, he was too busy trying to keep his breakfast in. So he shook his head and instantly regretted it, as another wave of nausea washed over him.

“Cass, you are worrying me. Please talk to me.” Rhys went on, gripping Cassian’s shoulders.

Another wave of nausea hit him, and he had to squeeze his lips together to avoid puking all over his brothers black suit.  Gods he hated the library he thought, tears flowing all over his cheeks.

“Cass?” Rhys spoke softly to his mind.

At that Cassian started sobbing, and almost hit the floor when his knees gave out had Rhys not pulled him into a hug.

After a few minutes they broke apart. “Rhys?” Cassian said, voice now hoarse.

“Yeah buddy.” Rhys said softly, his hands once again on Cassian’s shoulders.

Wiping the tears away Cassian sniffed “If you ever hide in the library again I’m going to kill you.”

“I was hiding because I didn’t feel like talking.” said Rhys clearly unimpressed by his commanders threat.  

“Well then not talk to us somewhere else.” Cassian commanded.

“Cass, I have been coming here for years and I’ve never seen whatever you just encountered.” Rhys said, trying - and failing - to assure Cassian that it was safe for him to keep coming back here.

“And you are never going to encounter it, because you are not coming back here.” Cassian growled, wings flaring slightly.

Rhys sighted and pulled Cass in for another hug ”If I promise to never go down to the lowes level, are you going to allow me to keep coming back here without being a pain in my ass about it?”.

Tightening the hug Cassian said “Fine, but you are not allowed to go lower than the level with the cookbooks.”

“Fine, I won’t go below the cookbook section.” Rhys grinned, but the smile on his lips didn’t reach his eyes.

Studying his brothers face, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, the hollow cheeks, the pain hiding in his eyes, Cassian decided that Rhys needed this place. “In that case i’m allowing you to come back here. But don’t for a moment think I’m not telling the priestesses to keep an eye out on you. And if one of them tells me you went lower than that i’m locking you up in the townhouse.” Cassian threatened.

“Love you too Cass” Rhys said and released Cass from the hug. “Why were you looking for me anyway?”

“Devlon and a few other are keeping the females from training again, so I need you to winnow me to the camps tomorrow.” Cassian said, rolling his eyes, annoyed that he would have to go argue the value of training the femalles to the old misogynistic idiots again.  

Rhys’s back straightened and wings flaring in irritation. “Fine, I’ll winnow you in bright and early. That way you have the whole day to put them back in their place.” Rhys said.

“Thanks! Azriel also told me that tool Tamlin got engaged to Feyre Cursebreaker.” Cassian said.

“I know” Rhys said, the pain he’d been trying to hide from Cassian, from everybody, now written all over his face.

And because his friend looked like he was about to fall into a deep dark pit of despair, Cassian hooked his arm with Rhysand’s and started to drag him towards the exit. “Come on, let’s get out and go get a few beers”

“No, you go without me.” Rhys’s said voice breaking as he unhooked his arm from Cassian’s.

Before Cassian could object, Rhys strode out of the library.


	2. Standing at the foot of his mother’s grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving Cassian at the library, Rhysand fly’s to his mother’s grave trying to find some peace of mind. You can read this part even if you haven’t read part 1.

As Rhysand walked out of the library, leaving Cassian behind, he felt the emptiness inside him return in full force. And even if some part of him wanted the comfort Cassian offered, he couldn’t accept it, he didn’t deserve it. So he walked to one of the balconies, summoned his wings and took to the sky.

~

It was a beautiful day for flying, the sun was shining and the wind was warm on his skin. He had missed flying when he was stuck Under The Mountain, had dreamed of it every night. Had awoken with the feeling of the wind on his face, only to realize he was stuck in the bed of the woman who he despised.

But now as he was sorring though the sky, he couldn’t find joy in it, he could only feel bitter. His back was already sore and his wings in agony, yet he hadn’t even flown for more than a few kilometers.  He had trouble keeping himself airborne. What kind of Illyrian was he if he couldn’t fly for more than a few minutes. He hated that even now -  when he was supposed to be free, when he was home - she still made his life a living hell.  But even if his whole body felt like it was on fire, he would only cherishing the pain - it was better to feel pain than that emptiness - pushing on until he finally arrived at his destination.

Taking in his surroundings - a small black temple decorated with silver stars, the green grass flecked with little purple violets, the sun high in the sky - he felt some of the emptiness and pain make place for sadness. At least he knew this sadness, had learned to live with it 400 years ago.  As he vanishing his wings, he walked over to temple with his mother’s grave inside and summoned a bouquet of moon flowers.

~

“Hello Mother” Rhys’s said to the tombstone that marked his mother’s final resting place. “I brought you your favorite flowers” he said as he laid the white flowers down.

It had been a while since his last visit, he hadn’t dare to come her while Amaranatha terrorized them, in fear of what she would do to this place. So he whispered to the stones “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

He looked around the temple and noticed that there weren’t any other flowers laid down at her grave. There were no signs that anyone had visited the temple the past fifty years. Suddenly - with a shock of pain - he realized the reason for the lack of flowers.  His brothers - who usually brought flowers once a month - hadn’t been able to visit their mother’s grave because they had been stuck in Valeris the past fifty years. Because he had locked them in there to protect them, unable to come here. And the only reason neither of them had visited the past two weeks, was because they either were too busy cleaning up the mess Amarantha had left or because they were taking care of him.

It made him feel guilty, to know that he robbed Cassian and Azriel of the chance to visit their mother’s grave and pay their respect. And his sweet, brave Morrigan - who had adored his mother, and had been adored by his mother in return -  had been locked away as well. He had tried to protect them, but in doing that, he had hurt them. He had failed them, failed a lot of people.

~

Rhysand stood in silence in front of her grave for a long time - tears rolling over his cheeks - staring at the words on her tomb. The poem written there.

 

_Her heart is played_

_like well-worn strings;_

_in her eyes,_

_the sadness sings -_

_of one who was destined_

_for better things_

 

It was Morrigan who had suggested to use the words of his mother’s favorite poet. Now after all these years, the words still had the power to make him cry. His mother, who the world had treated so badly. Who had almost been mutilated because she was a female, looked down upon because she was Illyrian. Who had been murdered because of who she was married to and who her son would one day become.

There hadn’t been a day, since she was taken away from him, that he didn’t think of her. Her and his little sister, whose grave was in Valeris near the rainbow she loved so dearly. He vowed to visit his sisters grave the next day, bring her some of the cookies she loved as a child and flowers she adored as a young woman.

~

Night had fallen since he’d been standing there, the moonflowers he brought now blooming, their sent filling the small temple. It smelled like his mother’s perfume and it reminded him of simpler times, happier times. The sent also made him feel comforted, like his mother was still there with him. And because of that feeling, he decided to tell his mother what had happened to him the past fifty years.

He told her about how he’d been foolish enough to fall for Amarantha’s trap. How he’d protected Valeris, protected Cassian, Azriel and Morrigan. Told her about the things he done during his time Under The Mountain. He spoke to her about how Amarantha had made him her whore, remembering that made his whole body shook, his voice barely more than a whisper. Then he told his mother about the cures Amarantha had on Tamlin. When he was done telling her about all those things, he took a few moments to collect himself. He had one more story to tell his mother, the story of Feyre, and he wanted to do it justice.

After a few minutes he said “I found my mate” and as he said it he felt a little flicker of her down the bond.

Sitting down at the foot of his mother’s grave he started telling the story of how he first saw Feyre in the Spring Court on Calanmai, how he tried to scare Tamlin to send her back to the human lands. How he went with Amarantha’s forces when they sacked Spring Court just to make sure the girl was really gone.

“I thought she was save. I could live with the fact that we were all doomed if it meant she was save.” he said. Lifting his hands to cover his eyes, he went on  “But she came back, she came to Under The Mountain to save Tamlin. To save all of us, because she loved him” he spat the last words.  

The idea of his mate with Tamlin made him sick, made him want to rage and scream.  He had to take a few moment to collect his thoughts, and even if he knew better, he reached down the bond, to Feyre. The feeling of her on the other side grounded him, knowing she was save and alive, made it possible for him to go on with the story.

So he did, telling how Feyre fought and won from the Middengard Wyrm. How when she threw the bone at Amarantha, he fell in love with her, a small smile now on his lips. But that smile vanished when he came to the part when he saw she was hurt.  

“I made a deal with her. I would heal her and in exchange she would spend one week of each month with me when she won and we were all free.” he said, shifting a bit to get more comfortable on the stone flour. He sat there for hours more telling the rest of the story.

~

When he was done telling the story, he laid his head back against the wall and let out a deep sigh. “I wasn’t kind to Feyre when she was Under The Mountain, and now she hates me, my own mate hates me, and has every right to do so.”

He stood up from his place at the foot of his mother’s grave, stretching his long legs, cramping now after hours of sitting.

Walking around the temple he said “Mor keeps trying to convince me Feyre wouldn’t hate me if she knew me. She keeps begging me to call in the bargain.”

Mor had been pushing him on it for the past two weeks. He loved his cousin, but she was wrong on this. Feyre deserved to be happy and safe with the male she loves, and he is not that male. Even if it hurt him, even if he had to see and feel her relationship with Tamlin through the bond. He could and would continue throwing his guts up every night, if it meant Feyre was happy. He would destroy himself and the world for if it meant she was loved and cared for by the male of her choice.

His mate hates him, he thought. She hated him and there was nothing he could do to change it. The thought made him feel heavy, so incredibly heavy. The weight of the sacrifices he made these past years pushing down on him. For fifty years he had protected his friends and his people, for fifty years he had torchered and murdered innocent fey. The mask of the High Lord he had worn for all those years to protect them, no longer felt like a mask. Now it felt more like who he truly was. And because he could no longer find a way to shed that mask - the mask that made his mate hate him - he let himself break down.  

He sank to his knees, desperation running through his veins. Tears ran down his cheeks, and his breathing became difficult. Feyre hated him, she hated him and he deserved it. He was a horrible male, who deserved to be alone. He tried to take a breath to calm himself, but that one thought kept repeating itself in his mind - she hates me, my mate hates me - making it impossible for him to breath. He couldn’t breath, he couldn’t move, panic racked his whole body. She hates me, my mate hates me - he thought again and again, as darkness swept over his mind and he fainted.

When he came around again, he could have sworn he felt his mother’s comforting presence.  He felt ill, but at the same time lighter. He had finally spoken the words that troubled him. Slowly he sat upright, brushing of the dust of his tunic.

~

For the rest of the night he sat at the foot of his mother’s grave, and when the sky began to fill with streaks of pink and orange of the rising sun, he winnowed back to Velaris, back to the town house where Cassian was waiting for him to take him to the Camps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the poem I used on the grave is called Swan Song and it’s written by Lang Leav.
> 
> The next part will mostly be in Lucien’s POV and some in Azriel’s POV. And there will be a little bit of Rhycien in it and perhaps a hint of Feycien, thanks me currently living in the Feyrhycien trashcan courtesy of @feyrhycien
> 
> If you want you can come say hi to me on tumblr @ourbooksuniverse :)


	3. The fox in the shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucien has been send out by Tamlin to find a way to break the bond between Rhys and Feyre. But he hasn’t found anything jet so he reached out to Azriel, hoping to make a deal.
> 
> There is a bit of Rhycien in it, Feycien is suggested and a little Azcien/Lucriel What is that their shipname? basically firedick Lucien

It had been three weeks since the events that happened Under The Mountain. And Lucien had spent the last three days visiting the Summer Court libraries, trying to find a way to break the bargain between Feyre and Rhysand. To his despair he hadn’t found anything. **  
**

The knowledge that Rhysand may call in the favor any moment made him nervous. The bargain clearly stated that Feyre was to live at the Night Court one week each month, and there was only one week left of this month, which meant that if Rhysand was to call in the favor it would be in the next few days.

The thought of Feyre at the Hewn City made him sick, he knew what kind of court it was and what its inhabitants would likely do to his friend. His friend who was still adjusting to her new body, her new life. He could see she was struggling with it, that she was plagued by nightmare and had trouble keeping her food down. For her he would not fail, for her he would call in old debts and he would do what he was about to do now.   

~

Lucien was standing in the middle of a clearing waiting for the spymaster of the Night Court to arrive. Where the hell was that pumped up overgrown bat, he thought to himself, getting impatient.

“Little Lucien, it’s been a while” said a soft voice behind him.

As Lucien spinned around he spotted Azriel leaning against a tree, his muscled arms crossed over his broad chest.

“So what makes Tamlin’s little fox, ask for a meeting?” Azriel said.

Lucien had forgotten how much of a warrior Azriel was, how those shadows always seemed to whisper in his ear. He suddenly realised that Azriel wasn’t Under The Mountain, neither was that annoying Cassian. How the hell had Amarantha not demanded Rhysand to give up Azriel and Cassian to her? Then again he didn’t remember hearing anything about the duo the past fifty years. With a shock Lucien realised that Rhysand had somehow hidden his friends from Amarantha’s grasp. He didn’t know if he was pissed that Rhysand hadn’t protected more people or happy that he had kept Amarantha from using Cassian and Azriel against the rest of them. Rhysand wasn’t be the only High Lord who had tried to hide things from the bitch, but it was something he would think about it later.   

Lucien tried to kept the shock of the realisation of his face and said “I need to ask you something”

Cocking his head to the side. “And what are you offering in exchange?” Azriel asked.

“I need to know how to break a bargain” Lucien said.

“Ah, I see” Azriel grind.

“Name the price for the information” lucien said.

“Still doing your High Lord’s bidding little Lucien? Or are you doing this for Feyre, I heard you two are close.”  Azriel suggested.

“Just answer my question” Lucien snarled.

“Answer mine first.” Azriel said “What is between you and Feyre, have you tried to get in her pants jet?”

Ooh Lucien wanted to punch Azriel’s pretty face, or maybe he would kiss the bastard full lips, see if that wiped that smirk of his face. Shit! he thought, he needed to get his mind out of the gutter, and stop thinking about fucking the illyrian in front of him.

But just because Lucien wanted to have sex didn’t mean the spymaster wasn’t wrong, there had never been anything more between him and Feyre then friendship, she was his friend and Tamlin betrothed. So Lucien yelled “Fuck you! Feyre is my friend and she is engaged to Tamlin.”

“Are you sure it’s just friendship? And since when do you care if a female is engaged?” Azriel asked, clearly enjoying the fact that he was pissing Lucien off. 

“No, there isn’t and I do care” Lucien spit. Even if at some point there might have been some attraction between Feyre and him. He was not blind or stupid after all, Feyre was beautiful and smart and kind and she had a mean streak that kind of turned him on. And maybe it she had been brought to the Spring Court, not to be their savior but for some other reason, there might have been a chance at something. But it had no use thinking about her that way now. If Tamlin thought that there was more between Feyre and him, he would destroy Lucien.

“If you say so” Azriel said, not sounding convinced at all.

“Now, answer my question you winged prick. Is there a way to break the bargain?”

“Such harsh words little Lucien.” Azriel purred “I thought you liked males from the Night Court.”

And even if a few minutes ago Lucien had been contemplating how the shadowsinger would moan if he took him against a tree, Lucien hissed “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

A wicked smile spread over Azriel’s handsome face. “Oh! You don’t know what i’m talking about? Do you need me to remind you about your activities during your stay at my High Lords court a hundred years ago?”

Lucien sneered at Azriel “Nothing ever happened during my visit, except me trying to get your High Lord-”   

“in your bed?” Azriel suggested, lifting one of his perfectly groomed brows.

At that Lucien growled at the spymaster and said “to sign a trading treaty between the Spring Court and the Night Court.”

“That’s not what my shadows told me. Not that they needed to tell me anything, I could hear the two of you scream and moan loud enough to wake the whole mountain.” Azriel snickered.

“Is that your job” Lucien sneered “to know who warms your High Lord’s bed or is it that just you kink?” He should have stopped at that, but he was feeling irritated, so he went on “Because do I have news for you, about whose bed he warmed the past fifty years.”

To his surprise, Azriel just laughed that cold laugh that promised a very violent and painful death. A laugh that made the arms on Lucien’s arms stand up.

“Tread very carefully little Lucien, or your High Lord will never find your body, after i’m done with you.” Azriel said, not a trace of the warmed in his voice that it held moments ago.

But before Lucien could respond, the shadows surrounded Azriel’s frame and the shadowsinger vanished into nothing but smoke and whispers.

~

He hated himself, because if there was ever a chance of getting information from Azriel, he had just fucked it up. It was just that the shadowsinger had reminded him of the affair he had with Rhysand, even if he would deny that it happened till the day he died.

Thinking about the winter he’d spend at the Hewn City always made something in his gut twits. He had just been made Tamlin’s ambassador, and his first task was trying to get a trading treaty signed between the two courts. He’d been prepared to do some ass kissing - in the metaphorical sense of the word - as the relationship between the to courts was strained to say the least. It just turned out it wasn’t just metaphorical ass kissing that would happen between him and Rhysand.

Convincing Rhysand to sign the treaty had only taken about a week, but convincing Rhysand to let him leave his bed had taken him all winter, not that he tried his best to convince him.

When they met, he had been infatuated by Rhysand - his raven black hair, those eyes that looked like the held tiny constellation in them, the way he carried himself, that annoying smirk that drove him insane - and it seemed the High Lord of the Night Court had been just as infatuated by him.

It had only taken two day’s before they had ended up in bed together.  He’d been with males before, and Rhysand had seem to know what he was doing, so he was sure he wasn’t his first male either. But their relationship went beyond just physical attraction, they spend three months in each others arms, whispering sweet nothings in the others ear, promising things neither of them could ever make come true.  

But when the frost began to thaw, it became clear that even if they like each other, maybe even loved each other, there was no future for them. Not when Lucien had sworn loyalty to Tamlin, not when Rhysand had to rule a court that would never accept their High Lord having a relationship with a male. So they had ended things, and Lucien returned to Spring with a broken heart.

He locked the memories of that love away in the part of his mind where he kept all the memories that still hurt to think about. When he composed himself enough he winnowed back to Spring.   

~

Lucien winnowed to the gardens in front of the Spring Court mansion, where he was greeted by flowers and sunshine. Breathing in the sweet smell of roses he walked to the large oak doors standing open to let in the spring breeze. He passed the foyer and went straight up the stairs to Tamlin’s study.

The door of the study was open, but he still knocked on the doorframe and waited until he was given permission to enter.

“Aah Lucien, you’re back.” Tamlin said to him, the only greeting he would get after four days of being away.

‘Hello Tamlin” Lucien said to his High Lord and bowed.

Sitting behind his desk, his eyes on Lucien Tamlin asked “Have you made any progress?”

Swallowing hard, lucien averted his eyes as he gave his answer “No Tam, I haven't found a way to break the bargain. I’m sorry.”

Tamlin’s claws slit out as he growled  “What do you mean you haven’t found anything?”

“I’ve searched the libraries in the Summer Court and i’ve sent a letter to Helion to ask permission to visit his library’s.” Lucien said to his friend.

“It’s not enough, you aren’t doing enough lucien! Don’t you want to help Feyre?” Tamlin yelled at him.

Lucien flinched and backed away a few steps “I do want to help Feyre, i’m doing my best Tamlin. I swear.”

“You’re best is not good enough! If Rhysand calls in the bargain he will hurt Feyre. He will hurt her just so he could hurt me.” Tamlin said, rising from behind his desk and walking over to Lucien.

“I know.” Lucien said trying to keep his voice steady.

Standing in front of Lucien, claws still out, Tamlin said “You are leaving this evening to Day Court. And I don’t care what you have to do, or who you have to sleep with, you are not coming back until you find some way to break the bargain.”

When Lucien didn’t answer right away, Tamlin closed his hands around his throat and squeezed. “Do you understand me?

Gasping for breath Lucien could only nod.

“Good” Tamlin said as he released Lucien’s throat. “Now go get cleaned up.”

“Yes Tamlin” Lucien rasped, as he bowed to Tamlin and made to leave the room.

“Ooh and Lucien. Ilante is here, be nice to her.” the High Lord said.

“Of course” Lucien said, even if he had no intention of being nice to her, not if he could avoid her while she was here.

He had met the priestess years ago and he had not liked her one bit.  It didn’t help that he heard the rumors about her nature, how she bedded males in exchange for power and influence or just for her own pleasure. Not that he would ever judge a female for having a sexual appetite, it was just that he heard that is wasn’t alway a consensual ordeal.   

Walking out of the study, he heard the priestesses voice coming from the hallway to his left, so he went right in the direction of his rooms. He would have to send a message to Helion informing him that he would arrive this evening.

~

Walking to his room he was glad he hadn’t told Tamlin about the meeting with the Night Courts spymaster. It would do more harm than good.

He spotted Feyre sitting in front of one of the large windows overlooking the gardens. When she noticed him, there was a flash of fear in her eyes - as if she spotted something or someone other than him. The fear in her eyes made his heart ache.

“Hi Feyre, how are you?” he asked her. And as she faced him fully, he took the opportunity to take a good look at her. The circles under her eyes seemed more pronounced than they were four days ago, he also noticed that she lost some more weight.

“Hello Lucien, i’m fine” she answered him, but it was obvious she was lying.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked and gestured at the space next to her on the windowsill.

“Sure” she said so quietly it was barely more than a whisper and she moved to make place for him.

Together they sat there as they stared out of the window. He wanted to help her, offer her kind words that would make it all better. But he didn’t know what to say to her to make it all better. He didn’t know how to make the nightmares go away, or to make her feel safe. So he just took her hand, gently stroking it as they watched the flowers in the garden.

~

Azriel stepped out of his shadows and into the foyer of his town house. When he got Lucien’s message this morning, he had debated if he should go. Sure Lucien used to be friends with Rhys, but that didn’t mean the fox was to be trusted. The only reason he had agreed to it was because Lucien could have information about Feyre and Tamlin that he didn’t have.

But he hadn’t gotten any new information, what he did get was the distinct impression that Spring Court would not go down easily when it came to Feyre. If Lucien was despaired enough to reach out to him for help after only a few weeks, he didn’t want to think who Lucien would reach out to in the future. But think about it he must, he would make a list of people Lucien and Tamlin might ask for help, and send spies to their Courts.

He had seen what despaired and scared people could do, had seen it time and time again. Had seen it when Rhysand had locked them up in Velaris in order to protect them. Had seen it when the rest of the Inner Circle thought Rhysand might be dead. No, he would not underestimate what a scared Lucien and Tamlin might do to protect Feyre.

He would have to tell Rhysand about this, but his brother had not been the same after returning from that monstrous court under the mountain. Rhys seemed to be hunted by his own thoughts, consumed by his guilt and grief. It all made him reluctant to tell his High Lord any bad news, maybe he could wait with delivering this potential thread until he had more information on it. In the meantime he would tell Amren, she was Rhysand’s second after all, and she could make any decision that might need to be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want you can come say hi to me on tumblr @ourbooksuniverse :)


End file.
